Decembeard

Boycott SNL! Beards of the World... UNITE!

Enough is enough... the beards are not to be messed with, and once pushed too far, we will come back thicker, darker and more rich with vigor (aka longer and uncut) than ever before! Billboards are one thing, but this 'shaving culture' that seems to be rearing it's ugly bald head during the last month of this year of our lord, the year of the beard, is disgusting... and feeding this shaved beast is ill advised, especially during Decembeard.

Our favorite goatee winner from last year's globes, THE dude, el Duderino himself (and the star of both “Tron: Legacy” and “True Grit”) will be hosting “Saturday Night Live” tonight... which was supposed to be a Christmas SNL to remember. Now it will be one we'll never forget... ever.

Our dear Jeff Bridges seems to have followed in the sad ways of Zach G. from last march, when the reTARD succumbed to corporate pressure and shaved during his hosting stint at SNL... well, we are calling BULLSHIT on this 'comedy show' that seems to be filled with writers seemingly unable (or worse yet, unwilling) to let their creative juices flow to write skits for furry faces... FOR SHAME we say.

Just like the dreaded NY Yankees are known for destroying chin manes of incoming players, so too does SNL seem to prey on facial fuzz heroes, mandating a shiny chin for the supposed honor to host their 'show'. Well, mission accomplished... not only have they destroyed yet another beardo hero, but they have ruined Christmas, a holiday usually full of beards and hairy cheer we love so much...

So, today we call for an outright BOYCOTT of SNL! Not until Jeff's beard grows back, but until they let a bearded brethren once again host and grace their stage with hairy fortitude. And perhaps moreover, until they admit their pogonophobic ways and REPENT! Until then, we are sorry to bring you the clip below, which was used as a promo for tonight's episode, showing His Dudeness taking a buzzer to his sweet sweet beard... it really tied the whole face together Jeff, you are out of your element!


FAIL!

Brooklyn, Start Your Beards... NYBMC is here (there)!

REJOICE OH PEOPLE OF NEW YORK (aka OUR people)!!!

The New York City Beard and Moustache Competition (hosted by our good friends at The Gotham City Beard Alliance), a charity event (with proceeds going to The Feal Good Foundation www.fealgoodfoundation.com) and the northeast's largest and most important beard and moustache competition is happening TOMORROW!

Visit the Gotham City Beard Alliance site www.gothamcityba.net fill out the Registration form if you plan on competing, the tickets are available for purchase at TicketWeb, so get them now or donate an additional $5 at the door (for a total of $20 to play). Club Europa (98 Meserole Ave, where else, Greenpoint/Brooklyn) will be the location, and the festivities will start promptly at 6pm... don't be late.

What's better, is that the organizer is B-a-B's greatly hairy friend Myk O'Connor, who's rallying call ("This is the year of the Beards, with IFC rolling out a new show called Whisker Wars, America promises to be the dominating force in facial hair!") should energize any and every facial hair wearer (or wannabe) from Brooklyn to Burbank.

The night will be supplemented by the sounds of DJ Corn Mo and The Intergalactic Fighters, with on-site trimmings courtesy of Tomcats Barbershop... AND a giant cut-out of The Rockettes to boot.

Don't miss this, trust me, as you always have (perhaps more so)... your favorite beards and staches will be there, come out or miss out.

Categories (and our predictions):

  • Full Beard -- Jack Passion (unless Mark Krayenhoff enters and brings the Brooklyn thunder)
  • Moustache -- Ben Davidson (unless he hasn't been working out his arm strength and loses in the run-off arm wrestling)
  • Goatee -- Steve Cline (since Paul Beisser is sure to have severe jet-lag)
  • Free style -- A German Pretzel
  • Recession beard -- Someone from Detroit
  • Fake beard -- A girl with a bigger bosom than beard

 

Surely none of this would be possible without sponsors, and Myk as amassed many. The good people at Scenic Presents (www.scenicnyc.com), Beard Team USA (www.beardteamusa.org), Coffee Lab Roasters (www.coffeelabroasters.com), Tomcats Barbershop (www.tomcatsbarbershop.com), and Blue Beards Original (www.bluebeardsoriginal.com) all deserve our thanks and business for helping NYBMC come to fruition. KUDOS to you all!


Hope to see you there,
El Beardo and Riss


P.S. While I am planning on attending this awesome event... truth be told, I may not make it. My wife, let's call her El Beardette, is 9 months pregnant... and we are both anxiously awaiting the arrival of little beardo, whose actual due date is, wouldn't you guess it, Saturday 12/4... If at all possible, I will make an appearance, if not... well we got field reporters covering this from all angles.

Hairly Yours,
Alex "El Beardo" Aizenberg