Brand Bowl Misses the Mark -- Will Ferrell to the Rescue

So, the Super Bowl is over, the more bearded team won, Colin Kaepernick will finally be forced to grow an actual beard vs. his awkward 'goatee'... all good things right?

Well, the commercials this year were something dreadful... really uninspiring (e.g. sleeping with horses sounds horrid; God didn't create farmers, he WAS one, Adam just pilfered his crops!), disengaging and most of all hairless. This is a shameful representation of our culture, and the bearded and facial hair arc we all know we are at the apex of (or better yet, climbing toward). This was a missed opportunity...

Unless you lived in a small part of the United States (tiny portions of Texas, Oklahoma and Montana, or perhaps Sweden)... then you saw a Will Ferrell Old Milwaukee commercial during your version of Super Bowl XLVII. Thanks Yahoo! News (and Jay Busbee of Shutdown Corner) for the find. Enjoy the below folks, really, let your inhibition go and let the ad take you to that special, warm place... a place, with mustaches and better kissing abilities than Bar Refaeli.

P.S. This awesome stache on Mr. Ferrell almost makes us forgive his shaving of Conan O'Brien's chin mane... almost.

Conan O'Brien @#$%^&*

"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man." -Shakespeare

It took us a few days to really process the whole "beardpocalypse" that took place on May 2nd. We've been big... avid... loyal supporters of Conan O'Brien's beard so this was a sad loss... one that hit the BaB family hard... like an open-hand slap to a bare face. It stung. It hurt. It frankly pissed us off. 

Of course you could tell us that it was risky backing a celeb's beard... plenty of factors come into play that could jeopardize it's elegance and stunt it's growth (e.g. publicists, agents, commercials, movies), but unlike the rest of Hollywood's nauseating 2-minute beardos, we felt safe supporting Conan's face.  The ginger beard was destined for a fabulous future - at least the foreseeable one.  And surely he wouldn't shave it off to boost ratings or help his friend Will Ferrell make a splash before The Office.  The beard was the only thing that helped him out during those post-NBC days - brought him personal comfort and protection - and helped propel him to more recognition than he probably deserved.  

Sell out.

Chances are, you've had at least one breakup that left you wondering, "What the hell just happened?"  This is our moment. It was an agonizing death... watching a man shave off a proper beard can be like watching a car accident in slow motion: It's usually bad and hard not to watch.  

As recapped by OTRC.com, "The 43-year-old actor led O'Brien to a salon chair brought out to the stage by show workers. Ferrell held up a razor 'that runs on pure righteousness' and showcased some mock-ups of looks O'Brien could adopt - including a short mustache donned by Adolf Hitler. He then began shaving O'Brien's face..."

It's too devastating to report further on the facts. Where will we go from here? *spits* Not in TBS' direction.  Although, we might make an exception if Andy Richter grows a beard - and keeps it.  Let's hear it for real beards! 

Will Ferrell's 2010 Wish List

Dreams can come true.  Well... sometimes.  

Wired's The Future that Never Happened discusses the technology that never quite caught on.  In the August issue, Will Ferrell takes a moment to add an edible fake beard (that tastes great not terrible) to his wish list of items that someone needs to invent.  

To quote Will:  "How many time have I thought to myself - Boy I wish I could eat my fake beard."