Don't Ask, Don't Shave

The U.S. Special Forces, aka Green Berets, are a special operations force of the U.S. Army tasked with six primary missions: unconventional warfare, foreign internal defense, special reconnaissance, direct action, hostage rescue and counter-terrorism.  The first two emphasize language, cultural, and training skills in working with foreign troops.  

So it comes as sad news to BaB, that after almost a decade of growing long beards to emphasize deep respect for Afghanistan's bearded culture, many of our elite have been ordered to shave their beards.  Seems veteran ops are complaining that they are not taken seriously by local leaders due to their facial fuzz, and they need these pillars of the community to trust them in order to gain intelligence into another bearded force - the Taliban.  

Those in charge have stated clearly that they want "a professional looking" soldier in the field.  Do those sporting beards really have the stigma of being uncouth amateurs incapable of serving our country?  Wouldn't the beard also offer some sort of natural camouflage to our troops, as I'd assume it is pretty easy to tell who the American is when all, but two guys have beards

Commanders report that beards are "sending the wrong message" to the communities overseas, but that said, special ops living in or near villages can keep their beards, "but are encouraged to adopt the traditional Afghan pokol cap instead of a billed cap."

*sigh*

What do you think?  Should special ops be forced to shave?  Does it send the wrong message?  Ever have a personal experience at work where you were asked to run to a razor?  Professionalism questioned?  


We Love @PhillyPhaithful

Trolling through the Internets, I came across PhillyPhaithful - the source for originally designed Philadelphia sports apparel.  

Old-school die hards from the city of Brotherly Love will appreciate this gem:

Of course this is in tribute to Mike Schmidt, the former Major League Baseball third baseman who played his entire career for the Philadelphia Phillies.  It rocks out.  

Will Ferrell's 2010 Wish List

Dreams can come true.  Well... sometimes.  

Wired's The Future that Never Happened discusses the technology that never quite caught on.  In the August issue, Will Ferrell takes a moment to add an edible fake beard (that tastes great not terrible) to his wish list of items that someone needs to invent.  

To quote Will:  "How many time have I thought to myself - Boy I wish I could eat my fake beard."  

Summer Ending Doesn't Mean Shaving

We were happy to see that The New York Post wrote about beards this morning, but it's lame they focused on "the vacation beard."  Beards are not solely meant for escape purposes - it's about the reality of commitment.  It's about letting go of societal pressures - ignoring your nagging girlfriend, meeting the stares of your judging colleagues, scratching your beard in front of your boss - and being proud of the time and dedication it took to grow it out.  

Quote The Post: "Nothing boasts I just got back from a sweet trip quite like the vacation beard. It’s bold. It’s triumphant.  And undeniably a bit bad-ass."

We agree, but remember that beards are bad-ass all year round.  A vacation beardo is not scoring any points with us unless you keep it.  If you grow some nice scruff, but shortly thereafter run to the razor, you join the ranks of Jon Stewart (who shaved 3 days later referencing his family as the main reason for falling onto the blade), Conan O'Brien, Zach Galifianakis*, Brad Pitt, Jayson Werth, Iker Casillas, and Jon Hamm.  

*Zach, on a personal note, I will always love you and appreciate you growing it back. Call me.  

When Duty Calls...

Sometimes, as reporters of all things hirsute, we need to cover a topic that might make most of our readers blush (or take for instance, this co-founder).  I wouldn't consider myself a prude, but as I stumbled upon Heckler Spray this morning, perhaps I should rethink that.  Heckler reported that a woman (I am hesitant to call her a singer/songwriter at this point) by the name of Majela Zeze Diamond has written a song about having sex with bearded men - and writes explicitly about the joys it brings to her... shall we say... erogenous zones. 

This Internet "star" has been quoted as saying, "Men are good for money, sex and vagina,"  but her recent “I love having sex with bearded men” video is why we're covering her today. 

A word to those sitting at work - this video, lyrically, is NSFW

Prove It Coco, #PROVEIT!

So... Did you happen to catch the brand new TBS promo that aired last night for Conan O'Brien?! If not you can find it below.

Pretty neat, nifty, even cute... but also mysterious. We are starting a #conansbeardwatch at once, because we really dislike ambiguity, especially when it comes for facial hair. Now is the time to prove it Conan, and prove it you must... do it for Brookline High School, do it for me... nay, us!

So, will he? Won't he? Shouldn't he?! Well, he better! And we'll be watching... unless... they did this just to boost ratings... no way would a media personality and company ever do this to its fans, right?!


Justin Bieber: Grow it out, grow it proud!

Oh. My. God... not only am I disgusted at the sheer thought of writing up a post on this mop top character, teen 'singer' and prepubescent 'dancer' Justin Bieber, but perhaps even more so about his apparent decision to take Estrogen to stunt the growth of his facial hair...

Justin, if that is your real name... you need to realize that side effects of men, let alone boys, taking Estrogen are perhaps even greater than the social reverberations of your decision to shun facial hair's inaugural appearance on your chin.

That said, B-a-B did some research for the pros and cons of taking Estrogen for the male species... just as an FYI and warning to all those that may be motivated to follow in your tiny hairless footsteps.

As you may know, if you were a normal 15 y/o who took Bio in school... Estrogen is a hormone produced in the female and male bodies, it is mainly responsible for the growth of female sexual characteristics. Men, however, also produce estrogen, levels of which often increase with age.

Cons

Bloating -- Increased estrogen levels cause the body to retain water, which leads to bloating and the swelling of legs and ankles. *How will you dance?!

Sex Drive -- Increased estrogen levels in men can decrease sex drive. The excess estrogen levels lowers sperm count and testosterone levels. *How will you... um, never mind. Well maybe you really shouldn't reproduce...

Breasts -- Men who take estrogen can suffer soreness in their breasts. Swollen breasts and tenderness of the breast can also occur. *Fact: If a boy gets breasts he'll become a hermit... think of the fans.

Cancer -- Increased estrogen levels in men can lead to cancer. Prostate cancer has been linked to high estrogen levels in men. *This is self explanatory...

Pros

Fractures -- Estrogen helps the body increase calcium absorbed in the body. Low estrogen levels in males can lead to greater risk of fractures, especially hip fractures. *You can just drink milk. Get a milk stache contract and get paid, what's the issue?!


To help sway you in the right (read: sane) direction our good friends at withabeard.com have helped us visualize how great a beard would look on your chin. Take a look and make the right (again, sane) decision... note: sure we could've made a compilation of the alternative look -- saggy boobs, limp dick, and bloated ankles -- but that would be in poor taste... GROW IT OUT, GROW IT PROUD!

  • Estrogen helps the body increase calcium absorbed in the body. Low estrogen levels in males can lead to greater risk of fractures, especially hip fractures.

    Don't Blame The Beard

    Welcome to the inaugural edition of this (soon to be) recurring feature on B-a-B... you may have seen us protect the image of beards on Twitter with this call to action, perhaps even on Facebook and Tumblr... so we decided to take it to the blog, since issues keep on arising.

    We call it simply... Don't Blame The Beard!

    For every awesome beard there seem to be misguided beardos, law enforcement officers, brash public conclusions, thesmokinggun.com and many many other platforms that just seem to jump to conclusions... as such, we have taken it upon ourselves to combat the narrow minded state of pogonophobic public by a targeted campaign aimed at distancing acts of detriment by beardos to the beardo nation.

    That said, not every beard will get our protection under these parameters... only the ones deserving and worthy will reap the benefits of our other cheek philosophy.

    Today's DBTB candidate is 61-year-old Eddie M. Campbell from Belle WV... who, according to the Kanawha County Sheriff's Department (and WSAZ-News Channel 3), was caught at Booker T. Washington Memorial Park in Malden with his shirt off and his pants around his ankles... he was detained for committing "lewd acts" with a mannequin.

    So, all you readers... spread our words, and DO NOT, under any circumstance, blame this awesome white mutton-chop beard, for the actions of the man attached to it... and you, Eddie... zip up, put your shirt back on, and take a bow... you're the inaugural member of our DBTB community!

    John C. Reilly's Extra Man Hair

    Continuing what seems to be a Hollywood theme to this week's posts -- perhaps tied to the fact that Riss is headed to LA today, or perhaps it's serving as a reminder for B-a-B about our Beard Ball LA promise -- whatever the reason, the everything is fake in LA perspective is further reinforced when looking at celebrity beards, in movies that is...

    John C. Reilly's version of the eccentric Gershon in the upcoming "The Extra Man" is a fantastic example of a (fake) beard. It's pretty awesome; bushy, curly, colorful and natural... just like we like it, only fake.

    So given it's fakeness... we'll let Bryan Alexander of nbcconnecticut.com finish this post for us:

    "While it's hard to applaud anything that's not authentic, Reilly does get points for his method-beard acting and just the sheer volume of the creation. So two hairy thumbs up."

    Dear Jon (Stewart)...

    We love you, we always loved you, we love you even more now that you're embracing facial hair (even if in part, Go Beard or Go Home!)... but Jon... as we've noted, by way (THE) Jack Passion's bearding philosophy... Beardos need not explain their beards, nor reasoning for wearing a beard... a beard chooses you Jon, not the other way around.

    That said, Jon's explanation as to why he went bearded is pretty funny:

    "The truth is I'm a Japanese snow monkey. I've been hiding that from people and I can't live that lie anymore."

    But... to his credit, Jon did indeed take "beard rubbing" to the next level this week, when he and Wyatt Cenac engaged in the act on 7/26... I consider this my Birthday present, thanks Jon.

    Brad Pitt's Goat: A Eulogy

    As everyone and their mother, girlfriend, sister (and so on and so forth) knows, Brad Pitt (of Brangelina fame) had been growing his much-discussed beard for about a year... and when he so clearly and significantly trimmed it down last month, we all knew he was preparing to get rid of it.

    Well, earlier this month, the day finally came... I say finally because even though B-a-B is categorically against shaving, there is only one other thing that cuts us deeper... and that's black eyes to the facial hair aficionados everywhere.

    Brad's beard drew so much criticism that we were afraid it would derail all the work our community has done in building up the profile of beards... we do not want to go back into the dark ages of beard hatred and pogonophobia, so if that means supporting Brad's shave... so be it.

    That said, it was a pretty cool beard... RIP Brad Pitt's Goat, we hardly knew yee... you were infamous, which is like really really famous.

    Robert Duvall Gets Low and Hairy

    As if you needed another reason to love the seminal actor of such cinematographic behemoths like The Godfather, The Godfather Part II and Apocalypse Now... well, here are 5 more reasons we dig Robert Duvall, whom is promoting an independent drama “Get Low,” which opens in limited release on Friday.

    1) He looks pretty bitchin with a beard (as if there was any doubt)!

    2) He makes the bushy beard look natural... he accomplished this with the help of great makeup artists... the big beard above is actually fake (taking 45 minutes to an hour a day to apply), but attached to his own beard which was used later in the movie.

    3) He has a "guy from Italy" who makes him his beards... freaking awesome... the lap of luxury, or should we say chin.

    You can check out a nice Q&A with the man himself in the Wall Street Journal, here:

    Robert Duvall on His ‘Get Low’ Beard, Horton Foote, and Good Eats

    Today's Word: Stache

    Oh, the wonders of our online communities! Every day it's something new, hairy  (and at times blue) that we borrow from our legion of hairy fans. Today, it's an inside look at how the next generation of beardos is learning about facial hair. As always, Sesame Street is quite enlightening...

    We stumbled on this awesome piece by way of our good friend Eric Harvey Brown (shown in his full BTUSU glory) none other than the 2nd place winner of the Partial Beard category at the first ever National Beard and Moustache Championships... and, he even makes a cameo in this stache filled segment (check him out at around the 4:50 mark).

    Breaking News: El Beardo Shaved?

    It has come to my attention that El Beardo has done something crazy.  I don't know how to break it to our loyal readers and supporters, but he shaved.  There, I said it.  Best to rip the band aid off quickly. But that said, to add more salt into our gaping wound, he shaved for a corporate work event.

    The horror.

    I remember when Alex did something like this two years ago - same corporate event - that resulted in the following look:

    But it seems that today, July 7th, 2010, will be a date which will live in infamy as our beloved beard has taken a blade to his face and magically changed into El 'Stache:

    Alex will write an update to this post once the corporate event concludes.  In the meantime, please feel free to leave your condolences in the comment section.

    Got 'Stache?

    The National "Got Milk" Mustache Mobile Tour has been crossing the country since March (and will do so until September) to help celebrate special moments that families share around the dinner table... blah blah blah.... most importantly, it offers families a chance to sport 'staches. (BAB hopes that once they see how cool they look with milk 'staches - an epidemic of upper lip hair will result shortly after).   

    From July 9 – July 13, the 2010 Milk Mustache Mobile “Milk the Moment” Tour will be cruising through New York City hosting free local events that feature a variety of fun and educational activities for the entire family. In addition, the tour also offers moms a chance to share how they “milk the moment” at dinnertime for a chance to win an unforgettable family dinner with Milk Mustache celebrity and chef Tyler Florence.

    Tour Stops:

    Friday, July 9

    New York Aquarium
    Surf Avenue & West 8th Street
    Brooklyn, New York 11224 
    10am-2pm

    Saturday, July 10
    NIKETOWN New York
    6 East 57th Street
    New York, NY 10022
    9am-11am 

    Sunday, July 11 
    Brooklyn Children's Museum
    145 Brooklyn Ave
    New York, NY 11213
    11am-1pm

    Monday, July 12
    New York Aquarium
    Surf Avenue & West 8th Street
    Brooklyn, New York 11224
    11am-1pm

    Tuesday, July 13

    Bronx Zoo
    2300 Southern Blvd
    Bronx, NY 10460
    10am-3pm

    Dale Earnhardt Jr. Thanks His Beard... and Beer

    Dale Earnhardt Jr. claimed victory this past Friday while driving the No. 3 in the Nationwide Series race at Daytona.  Dale Jr. said the only acceptable outcome to the race was winning - that "if he was going to drive his father’s old No. 3 there was no point in coming in fifth."  Dale Jr. then took a moment to thank his beard and beer for the win - noting that he started the year with it, shaved it off to do a commercial, then grew it back.

    “I grew the beard back because I've been running better, y'all.  Have y'all not matched it up? We had those first 10 races where we hauled ass, then I shaved, we ain't running worth a darn. Then I grew the beard back. Also I started drinking beer on Monday.  I don't know. The beard ain't got its own personality. The beard does have a Facebook page, but it's not a real person, it's just a beard on my face.”

    He concluded by stating -- “I drink beer every Monday and I grew a beard back. Those two things seem to be helping me. So really those two things deserve the most credit.”

    Freedom's Just Another Word For Growing Hair

    What better way to spend Independence Day weekend than to also celebrate your facial hair freedom? This Saturday, July 3rd, The Whisker Club (formed in 1998) will be hosting the 2nd North American Beard and Moustache Championship.  The event will take place in the Pacific Northwest - Bremerton, Washington, USA.

    All of those with facial hair are welcome to compete and the fee to enter is $40.  To watch the championship, The Whisker Club is asking that spectators pay $20, BUT this fee includes a buffet lunch with proceeds going to The Washington Veterans Home, which recently added a homeless shelter.  

    To join The Whisker Club click - HERE.   

    Females Prefer the 'Stache - Study Confirms

                                                    One fish. Two fish. Red fish. 'Stache fish?  

    You betcha.  It has been confirmed that the Mexican male molly fish can grow a type of mustache to lure their mates - and size DOES matter.  According to a recent article on PhysOrg.com, zoologist and professor, Ingo Schlupp at The University of Oklahoma, conducted the study where researchers caught and observed the mating behaviors of over 100 male and female Mexican mollies. This included measuring the length of the mustaches on those male fish which grew them.

    The results -- on experiments involving those 100+ fish -- females consistently preferred males with mustaches.  What's more interesting, the same study* was conducted in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with hipsters, resulting in the same exact findings.    

    Male molly 'stache:
     
    Greenpoint hipster 'stache:

    (*unofficial study based solely on my friends dating habits)

    Paris, Je t'aime

    We're a little late on a review of Paris Men's Fashion Week (and not completely qualified to comment or critique), but imagine our delight when we saw that last week Jean Paul Gaultier and Yohji Yamamoto featured a runway full of facial hair!  From the shaggy to the superb, the retro to the modern - beards, 'staches, and light scruff were all the rage under the Parisian lights.

    From New York Magazine

    These were not the too-groomed goatees and soul patches of 22-year-old boys, or the befuddling upper-lip caterpillars of politicians and financiers. These were quite old-fashioned, quite serious, and not a product of adolescent self-discovery or a wanting more hair somewhere amid midlife balding. Beards were thick and unkempt at Gaultier....

    Perhaps these designers are saying that if you want a beard or a 'stache, don't be wimpy and grow it in thin patches, carefully trimmed so that it projects the right amount of lazy to go with your rumpled plaid shirt. Go all out, and let people know that when you enter the room, you do so beard first.


    The Lone Beard Behind TECHLAND

    Peter Ha is bad ass - a tatted out, beer drinker who rocks a beard, surfs the cool waters of New York, and just so happens to be the technology editor for Time and editor of TECHLAND.  As a regular attendee of CES, I have always been under the impression that most geeks (said with love, of course) could never grow a full beard, but Peter is destroying this held notion.  So we've been politely Twitter stalking him, but it wasn't until he posted his Apple iPhone 4 review that we made an open plea for a Q&A with this bearded tech warrior.

    Just don't ask him if you can touch it...
     
    BAB: In your recent iPhone 4 article, you're sporting a beard... how long did that take you to grow? Peter: That’s a tough first question. Jeez. I thought we were, you know, Twitter buddies. In its current state, I’d say this one took about seven days. It’s a little long to be honest.
     

    (BAB side comment: It's not long enough)

    What are your thoughts on mustaches? I really wish I could pull one off without look like a total sleaze ball. It all depends on the type and thickness. I like a good old-fashioned handlebar. I’d really like it if mustaches came back into style. 

    Goatees? I’ve only been able to grow a full beard in the last four or five years and before that I had a goatee. I’d rather cut off my pinky then go back to having a goatee, though. 

    Who is your bearded hero (fiction, musician, artist, author, etc.)? Chewbacca. Duh.

    You grew up on the West Coast.... how is the beard scene there?  How does it compare to NYC? Yeah, I was born and raised in Portland, but spent some time in the Bay Area, as well. There are enclaves within cities like Seattle and Portland that are full of beards. NYC beards got nothing on us lumberbacks from the PNW.

    You work for Time... what is the corporate reaction to your beard? No one really seems to care about the beard. I’m fairly clean cut and present myself in a manner that my mother would approve of. 

    Reaction to your tattoos? I don’t know if this is true but a co-worker told me that the former managing editor had sent a memo around the day before I started to inform everyone that a tattooed greaser would be joining the company as the technology editor. I have yet to see said e-mail. The elevator rides in the morning are a trip. 

    How many other bearded tatted-out tech reporters are rocking Time? I’m the only one.

    We're calling 2010 the "Year of the Beard" - any predictions for 2011? Year of the Moustache?

    How long have you rocked facial hair? I first started showing signs of being man around 1999. 

    What's the most annoying thing about having a beard in NYC? The upkeep.

    Anything else we should know.... ? Cheez-its with Frank's hot sauce is the shit.

            Peter Ha of TECHLAND